It’s HARDC(apco)OOOOOOORE!

I love a challenge. From Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne’s bosses which require you to formulate a strategy that you will only figure out once you’re already dead, from trying to get all S-Ranks in Devil May Cry 3, even those missions I was bitching about in God Eater.

But you know what I love more? Fanwhores.

Really, really, really dumb fanwhores.

I can’t help but laugh at them. For those of you who never read Dueling Analogs–be thankful. If you’re the author of Dueling Analogs, no, I did not just give you more traffic, because there probably isn’t anyone reading this blog, you failtroll.

Wow, I get off topic easily when retards are involved.

So, for those of you who haven’t read Dueling Analogs, the author once made a video and the description of this post was ranting. Ranting and raving. About what, you might ask? Allow me to summarize.

Ahem.

“Baaaaaaw! Waaaaah! Mega Man 10 has an easy mode! Waaaah! Waaah! Leave Mega Man alone! Waaaah! Only the purists should play it! For the Waaahmprah!

Yep. He was whining and complaining about the fact that Mega Man 10 has an easy mode. D’aaaw, ain’t he cute? He’s like a retarded elitist puppy. Well, intellectually he’s on par with a puppy, anyway.

So. Lemme get this straight, failtroll, ol’ buddy ol’ pal, you want Mega Man to be left to a borderline masochistic niche audience. You want you and only you to play Mega Man 10. You don’t want the game to have an easy mode so people who are new to the series don’t feel alienated that they suck at it, making sure they never buy another Mega Man game again, ensuring that Mega Man makes less and less money until the franchise dies.

Gotcha. Sounds like an awesome plan. Capcom can go crash and have tons of people lose their jobs because they put an easy difficulty in an attempt to make more money! How dare they do such a thing in a capitalistic society!

And in case you’re still having trouble telling, that was sarcastic.

Y’know, another thing I’ve always loved is watching people rage about Marvel Vs. Capcom 3. “Waaah, it doesn’t have classic Mega Man,” “Waaah, it doesn’t have good multiplayer,” and my favorite of all of these is Angry Joe ranting about Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3.

He had about a ten minute long rant. I watched three minutes before I had to stop and burst out laughing. I never did finish the whole video but I’ll sum up as much as I remember from it.

Wah wah wah, characters no one has ever heard of, wah wah wah, bad multiplayer wah.

What is it with people and multiplayer? It’s something I’ll never understand. Playing with random people is annoying because than you can’t be right next to the twat monkey to smash his skull against the TV when he starts screeching about homosexuals, your mother, and a deer because you beat him by sniping like a smart person or whatever. Second of all who gives a fuck about spectator mode? Really. Who cares. Just… Explain to me the point. Please. The only one that might be valid is tournament mode. I mean if, unlike me, you have friends, and a lot of them, I can see the point in tournament mode.

But y’know what? What got me about his rant was bitching about the fact that a lot of the new characters are ones no one ever heard of. Joe, I’m sure you’re not reading this. But I’m going to say it anyway.

CAP-IT-AL-ISM.

It’s an obvious marketing ploy to try and interest people in the characters so they’ll go buy the comics. Obviously. Do you not get it? Is it hard to understand? Well, I guess it is for someone who used the words “Need for Speed” and “good” in the same sentence without the slightest hint of irony.

In conclusion, “hardcore gamers,” and most Capcom fanwhores in particular, are retarded to the point where I’m laughing, but you’re debating about calling the waaaaaahmbulance.

~Geek out.

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