Archive for the ‘ DOING IT WRONG ’ Category

GMod: Really, people? REALLY?

I’ve never used GMod. I know that it’s apparently cool and all, but I’ve just never been bothered with it. I guess the primary reason is that I don’t feel like spending ten bucks in order to make Team Fortress 2 character models into little ragdolls in order to participate in the most utterly pointless fads that aren’t even funny.

And sometimes, just sometimes, they get to be really, really bad. No, I mean, atrocious. And then the likes outweigh the dislikes.

I’ve been told that a sense of humor is a sign of intelligence. If that’s the case, than more than 80,000 people are drooling retards who have no idea what the fuck a “joke” is.

Case in point.

This… This thing. What is this? I haven’t seen anything this bad since… Since the CD-i games. Hell, at least those were fascinating to watch because of the sheer bat-shit insanity they had in them. This piece of garbage? No. I refuse to call this anything other than a useless shit pile that has just wasted three and a half minutes of your life.

Here’s the thing about jokes. You can’t just throw one character into an out of place situation and say “oh look isn’t this funny herp derp.”

Look, kid, you have a vague grasp of using GMod. Good for you. Great. Now please, do us a favor, and don’t post your crap on the internet because your pwecious famiwy encouraged you on it, saying it was “great” and you should “keep working at it.”

My family encouraged me to do a lot of shit, most of which I never did, and I especially never put it on YouTube, because I realized it sucked. The only stuff I have on YouTube are video tests for something I will probably never get around to and a couple of music tracks. Because those don’t suck horribly. They can’t.

You, however, appear to be in denial. You think your stuff is good enough for the internet. Hint: It’s not.

And that’s all folks.

~Geek out.

Advertisements

WHAT DID I JUST GOD DAMN SAY

Now, I like a challenge. I really, really do. But you know what’s just plain unfair? Sicking three major bosses that I classify under the Why Won’t You Die? trope on me. At the same time. In a small area that makes it hard to split enemy forces up. When all of these bosses are fast and fire very nasty projectiles at me.

Hey, guys, remember when I said that? Y’know, last post? Remember how I was talking about a mission in God Eater where you had to fight two Chi-Yous and one Vajra at the same time? Haha, wasn’t that a good time? Yeah, good thing that was the only mission like that.

Anyway, if you guys need me, I’ll still be playing GE.

Let’s see, Difficulty Six, sounds good… Let’s see and… Wait, no. Hahaha, no. That’s funny guys. But no, seriously, what’s the next mission I have to do?

… Hahaha, hahaha, ha. Ha. Hahahaha. Ha. Ha. FUCKING. HA.

One Chi-You.

One fallen Chi-You.

One Vajra.

In a level comprised entirely of narrow corridors.

And every single one of them is chasing me.

AND ONLY ME.

And the moment I actually manage to separate them the partner A.I. decides to come meet up with me. And bring the fucking Street Fighter Wannabe Birds with them.

Y’know, Monster Hunter never pulled this shit. Ever. No. Fuck you. What is wrong with you. This is the kind of territory even Shin Megami Tensei doesn’t dare tread. It doesn’t make you ballsy. It makes you look like a retard who can’t figure out how to make a game legitimately difficult.

Some Game Design Tips

I play a lot of video games. From Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne, to Tales of the Abyss, to Marathon, and all other sorts of different games. Recently, I stumbled upon a little gem called God Eater. Okay, technically the title of the one released here in the United States is called Gods Eater Burst, but I think just saying “God Eater” is a lot easier.

Now, I love God Eater. I’ve played over ten hours of it already, and I know everyone on the entire planet has already made the comparison, but it’s like a fast-paced Monster Hunter with fifty times more ridiculous anime bullshit where you swing around a sword twice your weight at speeds no human with the muscle build of a swimsuit model could possibly do. GE is fast, looks good, easy to get the hang of, and most importantly; fun.

Now, GE doesn’t have all the depth of MH, and that’s fine by me. In fact GE has a lot of things that MH didn’t, such as a lack of grinding hit boxes that weren’t complete bullshit, and friendly A.I. that could actually fight. Need an item from a monster to make a weapon? Go fight just one of those monsters, as opposed to 18, and you’ve got everything you need. GE also features tutorials telling you how to do everything you’ll need to know, you don’t need to gather up an entire armor set for one skill, you don’t have to worry about negative skills having an unreasonable impact on your fighting, etcetera, etcetera.

Look, you and I both know I’m not bringing this up just to talk about how awesome the game is. I could do that, but I’ll save that for comparing good games with bad games that have bigger fanbases. So why am I bringing up GE? Simple.

Continue reading